he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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