OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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