cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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