Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
