Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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