is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
