Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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