I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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