i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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