how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
