mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
