yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
should my penis look like a turkey
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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