his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
