If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
