Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
