Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
