He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i out mim tonsoeep
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
