you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Randomize
