At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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