do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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