I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
