Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
