i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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