Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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