You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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