Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
