North Korea, Best Korea!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
