Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sext me about skeletons
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
