He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
