You can't special order awesome
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
