I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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