Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
