do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
