wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
