I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
