I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you never un-have a 4some
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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