I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
