I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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