You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
