Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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