Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
