I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm really busy with my period
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