I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
