420 ftw
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
