Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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