i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
