Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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