Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
