You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
