Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
