I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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